Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Lovers in Tokyo

I saw this on twitter: You know how when you're driving and it's pouring down rain, you drive under a bridge and everything stops. Everything goes silent and it's almost peaceful. Then you finally get out from under the bridge, and everything hits a little harder than before. --- You were my bridge.

But you weren't. You weren't my bridge, and maybe I wanted you to be, but I knew you weren't. And it took me a long time to finally come to terms with that. But trust me when I say, though you weren't, it's not even remotely easy for me. It isn't, I swear. Some nights, it just hits harder than usual.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

SUNMUN '15 Social Night

Let me just start by saying being 18 is pretty great. Life is drama-free now that I'm out of high school, and all I ever do nowadays is think about what to eat for lunch and when I should start studying for internals (pretty much now) - which is nice, surprisingly. I'm in college almost all day but I never feel exhausted. Despite being able to drive and all, I spend most of my free time hanging with my parents. The younger me would be so disappointed, lol. But the me right now? Yep, I think that's pretty cool. I know I say this again and again, and it's ridiculous cos I've been bursting with sunshine-y rays of positivity and contentment which is rather odd since I usually only come on here when I'm feeling down - and that just comes to show how much I'm enjoying this year. I really am.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

(The Spectacular Now)

2014 taught me a number of things. Taking a few steps back and looking at the bigger picture, it wasn't about failure - it never is, actually. It's about dreams and the places they can take you; about how when you don't dream, when you lack the ambition to achieve the things you aim for, nothing else is going to matter.
Without our dreams, we are nothing.

I spent a lot of time in the past few years being nothing - not because I didn't have dreams, but because I was not ambitious enough to pursue them. I dreamed of many things, but told myself they were out of reach, and should remain, simply, as dreams.
This year is different, I promise myself.
I'm dreaming every second I'm breathing.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015


It's already June, which is insane. Soon it'll be the end of the year, and the process of meeting new people and trying to fit in will start all over again... and I'll be nineteen, but right now I feel eleven - and I doubt that'll change much in a span of seven months.

Friday, May 29, 2015

The view from Roppongi Hills Sky Deck

"Sometimes it is the very people who no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine"
(The Imitation Game)

Monday, May 25, 2015

Japan, 2015
Even at night, when Mount Fuji was barely recognizable, the view was so damn stunning.

Been back only less than 24 hours and I feel some intense withdrawals hitting me already... *curls up sadly in a tight ball* 
Only kidding. I'm counting my blessings, definitely.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Over-sized face. Terrible complexion. Tiny eyes. I'm trying to love myself, trying to look in the mirror everyday and think, "hey, I'm alright, I'm not too shabby". I really am. But why does this have to keep happening? Every time my hopes are brought up, people, people I thought I could trust my fragile, tossed-around, broken feelings with, people I finally let in, always end up hurting me. You'd think it'd start to hurt less, having happened so many times already. I want to not let it get to me. I want to not be affected. I want to love myself so damn much that I couldn't care less what others think. But the little progress I make disappears every time something like this happens. The part that sucks the most is knowing that this has been what they've been thinking of me all along, and now they can let me know that, because we have reached a stage in the friendship where they can be honest enough (to hurt me). And voila, we are back to square one.

Just when I thought things were getting better

Think not about the bad, but focus on what is good.