How is it September already, might I ask? I still feel like 2015, the year of magical moments and little miracles, had only just ended - yet here I am typing this, nearing the end of 2016. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but things never went downhill from last year; I was so wrong, because I was so confident that things were getting way too good to stay that way. I was wrong: things got better. I don't know how to wrap my head around all this. Not sure if you can tell, but I'm not actually used to things going well in my life. My best bet right now is probably to sit back and enjoy it all - take in all this greatness I'm experiencing, while I can.
"Next time" happens to be right now. Today's agenda includes scrolling through my drafts from way back when; late-night thoughts that never made the final cut. Some, I remember so vividly how I felt as I typed them - others, I can't even recall what they were actually about: maybe a boy, maybe a bowl of mashed potatoes. On 8th July 2013, I wrote a fierce letter to myself with detailed instructions on how to live my life - shortly after, I went completely against it. And here I find myself, over 3 years down the road, back at the same crossroads, heartstrings tugging towards the path I have always so strongly advised myself against; but it feels easy, this time. It feels easy, it feels right.
But isn't that what we always allow ourselves to think, simply because we want to?
Kimberly: Why wouldn't you want this forever? I'd like for once to understand why you wouldn't want this always.
Dell: Cause "always" is scary. There's a finality to it.
Stumbled upon Comet on a list titled "5 Movies That Are Basically Poems" - accurately so, I wouldn't describe it any other way. Definitely going on my list of movies to re-watch, time and time again. In other news, I've been meaning to get on here the entire day, a tingling sensation in my bones, as if to signal an upcoming surge of thoughts that I'd need to type out - but now that I actually am, I can't find the words. Next time, perhaps.
You ever look up at the night sky, at the gleaming full moon or glistening blanket of stars, and realization begins to dawn on how magnificent life can actually be? With a slow song playing in the background that you can't help but smile and sway to. Or maybe it's that feeling from laughing too hard, that you can't walk straight, or remember what was even funny.
As long as you're willing to look, everyday you'll see little things that prove how blessed you are. Some days I tend to forget to look, but when I do remember, like today, I pen down these feelings so that if I forget, tomorrow - perhaps this will remind me. To always look, even if it feels like there's nothing to be found.
It never fails to amaze me how time can be measured in countless ways, besides the good ol' hour, minute and second hands ticking away on my shelf. Through songs added to my playlist; weekend adventures passed; moments captured on camera; cravings fulfilled. Perhaps some day I'll tell you to your face that my favourite way of measuring time, is through days spent with you.
Note to my past self from circa one week ago: Not cool how you crammed five chapters of econs/three weeks of accounts lessons into a single day on my (our?) study schedule. I don't appreciate it one bit, pal.
“I do not know what makes a writer, but it probably isn’t happiness.”
— William Saroyan Getting my daily dose of laughter, inspiration and of course, reminders on how idiotic some people can be, all on twitter: definitely something I would not have foreseen pre-2k15. Rolling right smack into the middle of the year now and it's not been as smooth sailing as last year, but this life is still a good one. I'm not gonna lie, i've been going back and forth from one spectrum of warm, fuzzy feelings to the opposite end of painful, twisted knots in my chest lately, and it's ridiculous sometimes; but here's to the warm fuzzy feelings that this post shall commemorate.
Things to be happy about: My earphones. Crepe cake for dessert. Going to sleep when it's early, getting up when it's late. Green tea Mochi in school. FREE green tea Mochi. Stars. My allowance hasn't run out. Good songs on Discover Weekly. The thought of getting new slippers. Familiar faces. Redeeming chicken at Nando's. MnM's. Cute moments with mom. Remembering things. Old jokes. The Universe of Us, out in October. Leftover pizza. Going through old notes. Warm blankets. Falling asleep to the sound of rain.