Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Literally and metaphorically, I can't fly.

The taste of freedom, the rush of doing something you love, the thrill of chasing your dreams, the view from above. I'm stuck on the ground.

It was nice while it lasted. Really nice.

Friday, November 22, 2013

I feel like I've grown up.

I learned that going out with friends isn't always fun. Going out with people you love, and really spending time and enjoying their company, sure, but... "friends", not quite. I'd rather spend my time eating blueberry cheese tarts in the kitchen with my mum. I learned to love how I look. I do remember quite alot about my childhood but what stood out was definitely my lack of self-love. I'm learning to love myself, and I think I've finally reached a point where I don't have to starve myself to like what I see in the mirror. It's not that I've been working hard to be healthy and whatnot (quite the opposite, in fact) but mostly, I've learned to accept and love myself. So what if other people don't like how I look? In fact, really thinking about it, the people who actually matter have never complained about my size, or my skin, and they love me for who I am... on the inside. I learned that you really, really, don't need many people in your life. I love being friendly in general and I adore people who are genuinely friendly, but I've come to realize that at some point I got too caught up trying to be someone everyone likes; trying to please everyone; I'm not saying I should be rude/cold to everyone from now on, but I should focus my time, effort and energy on the few who really matter, I suppose. I learned that sometimes it's okay to sacrifice and make changes, for people who would do the same for you. It is okay to let go of some things to make them happy. Stop worrying that you might regret it; no matter what you do, you will always make mistakes. And that's fine. I learned that doing chores isn't always, well, a chore. With proper time management and the right way of looking at things, I am starting to enjoy doing things around the house and helping out because well, it makes me feel useful. I learned that family time feels wonderful, even if takes hours just to get some dim sum, it doesn't leave me feeling unproductive and anxious to go home, compared to when I'm spending time with "friends" who are "cool". Instead, I enjoy just being in my family's presence. I learned that people don't always appreciate the little things you do for them, and sometimes they want more. And sometimes you're not capable of giving them more. So I learned it's okay to let go of people who you can't get along with anymore, people who have different beliefs and people who go through life in certain ways that you disagree on. It's okay to let go. I learned that studying can be very rewarding, that feeling when you work hard for something and do well, instead of cheating your way through and it doesn't even result in much... nothing beats that. I learned to be less materialistic; growing up, I was always frustrated by all the things I couldn't have: mobile phones, branded clothes, why didn't my parents own expensive cars? And if that wasn't bad enough, at times I would even be embarrassed by the things I/my family owned, thinking they were not "grand" enough, not as good as what others had. I've learned that things like that don't matter and one should never let others make them feel otherwise. Parents work hard enough just to put a roof over our heads, so all the unnecessary accessories that make life more glamorous should not turn into necessities. Well, it's not wrong to want them, but surely not to the extent that one feels he/she NEEDS it. Also, I learned what I really love doing. Taking photos, making videos. It puts a smile on my face. I learned that if you think you're good/you did well, you don't need the approval of others. Sure, that'd boost your confidence, but if you like it and you're proud of it, then even if no one showers you with compliments about it, it's still good. And I learned to say no. Learned that I can't always please others and that my needs matter too. Learned to express how I really feel, if something makes me unhappy I'll say so (of course, in a nice way) because I'm NOT being difficult, I am trying to make the situation better for everyone involved. I suppose I learned it is okay to speak what's on your mind, sometimes.

Of course, there are still things I need to fix.
☺ Work on my studies and time management
☺ Whining (excessively) doesn't get you anywhere
☺ Spend quality time and put away those gadgets; rule of thumb: imagine this will be your last time meeting that someone for the next year, so wouldn't you want to catch up and have a proper conversation instead of Instagram the moment?
☺ That's right, care less about social networking. 
☺ Swear less... I use the word "shit" so often that it's more like an acceptable word to add in to everyday sentences, now.. :(
☺ Quality, not quantity. Truly.
My first ever paid job!!!! Nicest girls ever, what a good experience aaaaah. They requested for the catchiest song ever too which is now stuck in my head. 

Sunday, July 14, 2013

for all those who are nursing heartbreak
because that boy will never feel the same about you, your best friend is now a stranger and your grandpa left you to go on with life without him

and i quote the speech i wrote for my oral assessment in April: "So love, this so-called beautiful feeling that supposedly makes the world a better place; why do we crave for it so badly? Why do we all need to be loved? Some people worry that they may never find their other half, but does it matter that much? Even if you don’t find the “love of your life”, you still have your mum, your dad, or siblings to love. Is that kind of love not enough? Must it be a love between man and woman  - or man and man, and woman and woman, no discrimination whatsoever to same-sex marriage - that keeps us going in life?"

Sunday, June 23, 2013

School's been cancelled for three whole days (yipee!) due to the haze in our area, so i have a crapload of time on my hands now (though i should really be using it to study instead..)

Friday, June 21, 2013

Hi there! Here's a bunch of photos from an event i recently photographed, Take The Stage 2013. My classmate happened to be the emcee for the event, so she asked if i was interested in taking photos for them. Of course, i said yes :D It's been awhile and i miss the feeling of snapping away and going through a shitload of photos but feeling so much satisfaction. The last time i did something like this was for my school's senior prom which was ages ago! Do i sound too happy? Haha i dunno, i've been away for too long :( 

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Went through my expansion drive and found these photos from November last year, when i  visited Aquaria KLCC with my bestie. What a lovely surprise, I should seriously start taking photos again. Can't believe this is my first proper photo post in five whole months. No excuse to not pick up my camera anymore, now that mid-term break is hereeee! \/
HAHA funny stranger number 48